NLP Beliefs

Extracted from “Introducing NLP”, by Joseph O’Connor & John Seymour

Some of the NLP basic filters are often referred to as Behavioural Frames. These are ways of thinking about how you act. The first is an orientation towards outcomes rather than problems. This mean finding out what you and others want, finding what resources you have, and using these resources to move towards your goal. The problem orientation is often referred to as the “Blame Frame”. This means analyzing what is wrong in great detail. It means asking questions like: “Why do I have this problem? How does it limit me? Whose fault is it?” These sorts of questions do not usually lead anywhere useful. Asking them will leave you feeling worse than when you started, and does nothing towards solving the problem.

The second frame is to ask How rather than ask Why questions. How questions will get you an understanding of the structure of a problem. Why questions are likely to get you justifications and reasons without changing anything.

The third frame is Feedback versus Failure. There is no such thing as failure, only results. These can be used as feedback, helpful corrections, a splendid opportunity to learn something you had not noticed. Failure is just a way of describing a result you did not want. You can use the results you get to redirect your efforts. Feedback keeps to goal in view. Failure is a dead end. Two very similar words, yet they represent two totally different ways of thinking.

The fourth frame is to consider Possibilities rather than Necessities. Again, this is a shift in focus. Look at what you can do, what choices are available, rather than the constraints of a situation. Often the barriers are less formidable than they appear.

Finally, NLP adopts an attitude of Curiosity and Fascination rather than making Assumptions. This is a very simple idea and has profound consequences. Young children learn tremendously quickly, and they do it by being curious about everything. They do not know and they know they do not know, so they are not worried about looking stupid if they ask.

Another useful idea is that we all have, or can create, the inner resources we need to achieve our goals. You are more likely to succeed if you act as if this were true than if you act the opposite.

 

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